I will tell you the story of how my son that grew up with a tracheostomy just taught me how to breathe just so that I was ready to hit the surf wave of quantum energy when I faced my truth and how in that same moment my daughter told me she loved women and was seeking my acceptance and approval and I gave it to her so that I know that she knows that I love her and that I’m so sorry I abandoned her to a house full of selfish narcissists.
I wish I could describe the feeling of receiving truth before it is made true. Before I know it is important. When it is just an experience. When it is just a random moment.
As I move farther on my journey I am already realizing that God moves non-linear. God introducing something way up stream of the plot line so that by the time you need the lesson to be integrated you can finally see the truth of it. Finally see that yes… God was walking with me the whole time. Carrying me when I couldn’t do it myself.
My son had me watch him try all of the musical instruments today at school. He was telling me, his mom, etc that he wanted to do band. I was super proud of him. As a 3d dad just trying to be supportive to his search for truth in a way I was never given a chance by my parents.
I was told to be a football player. I was told to be a wrestler. I was told to be like my dad. I was told to get a good job and get health insurance as quickly as possible.
I was told to look both ways before crossing the street. For some reason I look 5 or 6 times.
I was told to not have sex.
I was told to not do drugs.
I was told that I am worthless and unless I am perfect that I am not worthy of God’s love. Maybe not totally in those words…. but actions speak louder than words. WAY louder.
Anyway back to the story.
I have been going through some major phsyical changes on my opening of my third eye. I use THC to do it. It is the only thing I have found that has actually helped me to focus my mind. Truly focus.
What do I mean focus?
I mean to control your thoughts. To think only on what you want to think on. To accept only the truth that you are wanting to accept.
I brainwash myself these days with Hillsong United and Audio Books. I control the filter now. No wonder my hearing was always so sensitive. It immediately steals my focus. It instantly tries to have me create something I don’t want to create.
Its like I want to be deaf. Its like all the people I am around are not deaf and I want to be deaf and teach them to be deaf. Just like the movie CODA except backwards. Like everything else in my life. I’m a child of a deaf adults. Accept the deafness they suffer from is not trusting in God. Not loving God. Not accepting of God’s love and forgiveness. Not able to hear the real language and message of God.
As I am now completely biohacking my experience on a frequency of zero shame, 100% love, 0% fear (trying really hard on this one!!) and 100% God is all my body has been going through incredible changes.
I go through MAJOR tremors when I move the frequencies fast. I used to be able to climb the frequencies myself. But it took a long time. I’m out of time. I’ve “wasted” or “slow to learn” or “preparing for my future” for long enough. I’m out of the self-help from others game. I’m on the self-help from me and God game.
One of my angels taught me EFT tapping. So i can remember to take control of my physical body as my mind starts to move. The faster my mind moves, the bigger the jump, the more energy my physical body has to process.
My new friend, Peter, fellow narcissistic abuse victim and future business partner sent me a few messages.
- He showed me his wife cutting off her hair in defiance of sickness. It was beautiful. It was also showing me a message as my narcissist had the most beautiful blond hair I could possibly imagine.
- He also taught me about some machines that he had just “invented” himself. I believe him. Just like everything right now that I choose to believe. He told me about some kind of wind turbine system that he had built.
My new crush and astrology coach taught me that you can connect on a different dimension. She brought me healing prayer over her live feed. It was incredible. It was like being prayed over on at church.
I integrated all of them together.
Terrible truths revealed about my life. 40+ years of narcissistic abuse. Grand child of a man who killed himself he loved his narcissistic partner more than his own life. Just like I had.
Just like I had contemplated jumping from the window of my condo in Denver. Better to just “re-write” than to endure any more.
Man what if I had done it. I had no idea how much my life could change in less than a year.
I’m now healthy (recovering), single (weird but true), excited, living in a new city, reconnected with my children, have evolved eyes and ears that allow me to find others living 5D on this planet of crazy sex-starved narcissists.
I am being taught by angels how to surf the quantum energy waves. EFT tapping. Jet breathing. Yoga. Meditation. All real. All things I couldn’t accept before I was visited by the angel of death in my sleep.
She’s a really beautiful angel. I sure I hope I get to meet her in 3D someday. Right now she just talks to me through her stories that she tells. Just like the Bible. Just like Homer. Just like everything.
There is nothing that exists accept for God. Nothing. God does not end where my puny brain begins. By brain is just a 3d manifestation for an antenna of God. And its been on the wrong channel. A LONG FUCKING TIME.
My brain was on the channel “frequency” that I was not good enough. I am not handsome enough. I am not skinny enough. I am not smart enough. I am not unique. I am not special. I am not different. That I needed to work hard my entire life so I could get a better seat in the auditorium that would have been heaven after I die.
I’m on a new frequency now. One that I AM. I AM good enough. I AM handsome. I AM skinny. I AM smart. I AM unique. I AM special. I AM different. I don’t have to work hard to be in heaven when i die. I AM IN HEAVEN RIGHT NOW. I AM IN GOD RIGHT NOW. GOD IS IN ME AND I AM IN GOD. I guess you could just just simplify that and say I AM.
I just have to learn to see it, trust it, experience it, and then help others to see it, trust it, and experience it.
I knew I was yahweh when i met my narcissist. I forgot. I had literally spend 37 years learning I was YAHWEH and she shut that belief down in my so quickly.
So now its back. YAHWEY in the flesh. Just like everyone reading this.
I’m learning to fly. I’m learning to be a 5d angel in a 3d world. I’m learning to absorb the energy of 5d truth as it shoots my in my frontal lobe.
I’m learning how to control my body. You should have seen the dance moves coming out of this football player/wrestler.
I’m learning how to let go of bad energy.
I’m learning how to brainwash myself.
I’m learning my writing style
I’m getting a lot of shit done. Back to work I guess. Just keep rowing. Just keep rowing. God is out there somewhere I needs me.
From my writing room in Nashville (Heaven)
Oct 24, 2021